Steve walks out onto the auditorium stage, set just as the Moscone Hall will be on Tuesday, though the crowd today is only 2 people instead of thousands. He walks over to the stool in midstage and cracks open the water bottle sitting there. He takes a drink while he imagines the cheers from the crowd on Tuesday.

“Welcome!” The crowd cheers in his mind are still so deafeningly loud that he is sure nobody heard him. He raises his hands to quiet the crowd, waits a moment, and then again says, “Welcome!”

Youtube has become my goto site for ridiculous and funny waste of time moments. There’s almost always something lingering that will send you flying. Here’s a couple of the more…interesting…clips I’ve found this week. These guys bring lip-syncing to a whole new level—

I see today that the DEA agent in the vid is sueing the government for ruining his career and life by allowing this video to make its way into the blogosphere. I don’t know. Maybe you did all that yourself by just, you know, shooting yourself in the foot in front of a class of elementary kids?

I’ve been storing a few things up in my brain that need to be dumped out somewhere, and its either here or the floor of the bathroom at the hole-in-the-wall bar down the street. And last time I did THAT, well, lets just say that I found out there are other uses for that mop in the corner…

Despite as much evidence agin ‘em as for ‘em, the Big Media continues to push and push for the broadcast flag or equally stupid control over our content consumption. Today’s big idiocy comes from HBO. Ars Tecnica, Zatz Not Funny, and RealTechNews all have good takes on this news.