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Click through to see front pages from around the world trumpeting the Obama Inauguration

Forwarded from a friend who knows how I love running down the origins of Christmas traditions:

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the traineee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.

Elections are magical events for revealing all of our filters. As I stayed up late last night marveling that at one point less than 400 votes separated Obama and McCain in Missouri with more than 3.5 million votes cast there, one of the conservative talking heads on CNN made the comment that by any historical standards this was not a landslide win (agreed) and certainly not a mandate for left wing liberal policies. I suspect this particular commenter viewed anything left of the far right of the republican party as falling into that liberal bucket.

I put them in order for you….I promise you will laugh!

Britain is Repossessing the U.S.A.
A Message adapted and updated from Mr. John Cleese:

To the Citizens of the United States of America:

In light of the strong possibility you are about to elect an elderly gentleman with a bad temper and a lady who thinks she can run foreign policy because she can see Russia from her house, as President and President-In-Waiting of the USA and thus to risk Life As We Know It for everyone else on the Planet, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Here’s what I would ask:

Senator McCain and Senator Obama, you have both been bitch-slapped by organizations like factcheck.org repeatedly for misleading ads and stump statements. These are statements that I’m sure both of you are smart enough to know are either outright lies or misleading statements designed to tar your opponent unfairly. Now in the last week the ads have taken an even nastier turn with even more distortions. I’m sick of hearing all of them. I find it all offensive. Will you both agree to submit your ads to an independent fact-checking organization prior to running them and not show any ads they deem misleading or lies? Or perhaps just agree to pay for them to have equal ad time to debunk your more ridiculous assertions?

Steve walks out onto the auditorium stage, set just as the Moscone Hall will be on Tuesday, though the crowd today is only 2 people instead of thousands. He walks over to the stool in midstage and cracks open the water bottle sitting there. He takes a drink while he imagines the cheers from the crowd on Tuesday.

“Welcome!” The crowd cheers in his mind are still so deafeningly loud that he is sure nobody heard him. He raises his hands to quiet the crowd, waits a moment, and then again says, “Welcome!”

Youtube has become my goto site for ridiculous and funny waste of time moments. There’s almost always something lingering that will send you flying. Here’s a couple of the more…interesting…clips I’ve found this week. These guys bring lip-syncing to a whole new level—

I see today that the DEA agent in the vid is sueing the government for ruining his career and life by allowing this video to make its way into the blogosphere. I don’t know. Maybe you did all that yourself by just, you know, shooting yourself in the foot in front of a class of elementary kids?

I’ve been storing a few things up in my brain that need to be dumped out somewhere, and its either here or the floor of the bathroom at the hole-in-the-wall bar down the street. And last time I did THAT, well, lets just say that I found out there are other uses for that mop in the corner…

Despite as much evidence agin ‘em as for ‘em, the Big Media continues to push and push for the broadcast flag or equally stupid control over our content consumption. Today’s big idiocy comes from HBO. Ars Tecnica, Zatz Not Funny, and RealTechNews all have good takes on this news.